About

The wife isn’t happy…

Jon gave me a call.

He said he’s been thinking about getting into counseling for some time now, but the latest incident with his wife was the kicker.

“After this latest blowup, she says she is done. That I need to speak to somebody or the marriage is over. Why do I need counseling if she’s the one that’s so angry and upset all the time. If she was happy, everything would be fine. You know I just don’t get it, I’m a pretty good husband, but it’s never good enough! She’s not perfect either, you know, but if I try to tell her something, forget it, it just gets turned around on me.”

I let him know that I could help him understand his marriage problems, and how to make things better. So, we set up an initial apt.

Jon signed on from his remote work spot at home, and told me the story about how they ended up in FL.

After he joked, “I haven’t been through a Hurricane yet, but I totally get why they call the hockey team the Lightning. These summer thunderstorms are something else! Oh yea, and the sign on went really smooth, I can see you and hear you good”

After getting to know each other a bit more, he got a stern look on his face and jumped into it.

“Travis, it feels like I’m a stranger in my own home, I’m walking on eggshells man! She keeps saying that I don’t love her, and the more I tell her I do, she gets even more mad. Whenever I try to get the kids to act right or ask her to please be on time she acts like I’m some kind of controlling monster.”

“Whew… At least works going great right now. If I had problems there I’d really be in a bad place. It is… a lot of work though. And I’m pretty drained by the end of the day. Don’t really do anything outside of work and family right now. You’re going to laugh but I found myself literally getting excited to go to a new grocery store the other day.”

We laughed, Jon was a good guy.

Making things better

We got to work understanding where his relationship was and how it got there. Jon started to understand what his wife really needed from him.

He learned how to respond when she emotionally opened up to him. His new ways of interacting made her feel loved and cared for bringing her closer to him than she’s been in years.

When the immediate fire was put out the conversation naturally flowed into other areas of life, and we made some more positive changes.

He told me he really looked forward to our meetings which is something he honestly didn’t expect when he was first considering counseling. He said that it felt just like talking to a friend, but one that actually gives good advice. Hahah!

His only regret was that, “I wish I would have done this 10 years ago, things would have been a lot easier.”