About

When things seem to be going down…

John rushed in one early afternoon. “Hey, Sorry, had a bit of trouble getting away from work.”

I said, “That’s alright; you’re still five minutes ahead. Have a water. Take a breather. We will fill out a couple forms, and then head on back to my office.”

John had some grey on the side of his hair and a little extra around the middle that seemed to be a recent addition. He made some effort to smile back and joke along with me as he completed the paperwork. He had a professional, reliable way about him that I very much respected.

We sat down together and after a few more laughs about Ohio not playing so well this year, John adjusted. A more serious look came across his face, and we got into it.

John said, “The ex is still killing me even though she has the house and most of the time with the kids. I guess that’s fair since I’m the one who left. My kids are both teenagers and act like spending time with me kills them.

“I know they still blame me for leaving. My company is not doing as well as it was, which means they are expecting even more from us with less compensation.

“Everything in the divorce was filed on an up-year when I made bonuses. So, I’m making about half what I used to. My girlfriend’s great; I got lucky with her, but she is starting to go from concerned to angry with me. I’ve been drinking more lately and am not as fun as I used to be.”

“To be honest, my girlfriend’s the one that told me to come talk to someone. I just feel drained and tired. I’ve put on some weight. I have been drinking more; I feel like it’s the only way I can really relax. So those Mich Ultras don’t really give a person abs after all, huh?” John smiled for real this time.

When a different plan is needed

I helped John truly relax and get his confidence back. We met five more times after that. As he recuperated, he began to access all his strengths, skills, and resources. I helped John remember how competent he was, and he began to take action outside of himself as he gathered momentum.

By the end of our time together, not only did John feel a lot better, but his situation had improved. He also reported what he learned would help him avoid getting down like that again.