Child and Family Counseling

When your child doesn’t behave as expected…

Katie contacted me sounding frantic and stressed on the phone. The family had just gotten home from a school treatment team meeting earlier that day about her son Brandon.

Brandon was in kindergarten and had already racked up some embarrassingly bad behavioral reports in just the first few months of school. Not following directions, constantly out of area, hitting another child. The school recommended she get Brandon into counseling, and they found my name on the list.

On the phone call, Katie admitted she was living in fear of tomorrow’s behavioral report and feeling more out of control as everything they tried did not seem to make much of a difference. After a short conversation, Katie decided to schedule an initial appointment.

Brandon

Brandon ran into the office with his mother catching up behind him. He started talking to me right away, and we became fast friends. Katie smiled and got him to sit down with his tablet while she was filling out the paperwork.

Brandon had no trouble concentrating on that and was able to sit perfectly still in the chair. When it was time to put the tablet away and go back into the room is when the tears and arguing came.

“No, Stop! Just one more game.” It was a tantrum back to the room, but once we were there Brandon hurriedly and excitedly began checking out all the toys in the room. Just like that he was on to the next thing. Hands on the action figures, and boxes of Legos getting pulled out.

“Whoa there,” I said in a quick unexpected way. Brandon’s head startled with surprise as his eyes and his focus snapped on to me. Remember that look, because without that look you can be 100 percent sure that whatever directive you give won’t be followed. “The two rules to play with the toys are that 1) They all stay here, and 2) we clean up at the end.

Brandon struggled to repeat them back to me. Working memory is one of the three executive function skills that we will learn about in the counseling process. With some repetition, he got them down and began enjoying the toys.

Within five seconds how to teach waiting and self-control were already becoming clear. Of course, due to the power of agreement with clear expectations, Brandon cleaned up without any argument or complaint to a pleasantly surprised mother.

Katie knew she was in the right spot to learn how to get respect from Brandon and minimize the arguing and emotional outbursts at home. Most importantly, she knew she was in the right spot to get Brandon what he needed to succeed in school and beyond.

And how did the time with Brandon end?

We completed a total of 12 sessions. Brandon got involved with other helpful services as well, including psychiatry and occupational therapy. Katie mastered behavioral management strategies leaving her feeling confident to handle anything that came her way.

I continued to work with Brandon strengthening developmental skills like taking turns, seeing others’ points of view, and asking before grabbing. He was also set up for success with appropriate school accommodations.

How I can help your child

Some kids or teens are more on the anxious side. I can help them be brave and build their confidence – worry less and be more care free. Sometimes they need help learning to stand up for themselves. Other times they need help being more flexible with others.

As a parent, we often worry when our children seem to have no fear. Often if kids or teens don’t seem concerned, it’s because they aren’t accurately seeing the future consequences. I can help them learn to think ahead, plan, and make better decisions. We can practice organizational skills and creative problem-solving, so things can come together for them.

Some kids are angry and blame others for all their problems. They can really benefit from taking responsibility for their hurtful actions or their part in relationship problems. Learning how to be kind, empathetic, and doing things for others helps them and the people around them.

Those last couple years a 16- to 18-year-old is in the house can sure become a strain. They are trying adult things for the first time, but they are not quite adults just yet. I can help parents and their teenager navigate these last few years, so they have strong trusting relationships with you as their parent to rely on when they do set sail on their own in the world.

Please give me a call for a free 15-minute consultation. We will talk about what’s going on and see if I can be of help to you and your child.